Just for Fun · Satire

Satire: Coffee Shop Regular Studies Entire Menu Before Ordering Same Drink for Ninth Consecutive Year

Artist Ashley Ann · · 1 min read

Fictional satire. This story is just for fun. The people, quotes, and events are invented.

The Batavia Mug held beside a downtown windmill
A mug from the hometown collection, pictured to illustrate this fictional story.

A local woman spent several minutes thoughtfully reviewing a coffee shop’s menu Wednesday before ordering the drink employees had begun preparing when they saw her car.

“I’m trying to branch out,” she explained, carefully considering a seasonal beverage she would later describe as “probably too sweet.”

The barista respectfully outlined several alternatives while steaming the milk for her usual latte.

After asking whether the maple drink tasted strongly of maple, the woman announced that she would “just do the regular today.”

She later praised the shop for always knowing exactly what she wanted.

Employees confirmed that this remained true even when she didn’t.

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